Goodbye for Now My Beautiful Sister
I never thought any of us would die. We just always seemed to be. Last night my family lost a beautiful soul, my sister, my friend. She was younger by 16 months. Being that close in age we had been close at heart for a long time. A disagreement separated us and we barely spoke for years. Never did a day go by that I wished I could change that. In February of this year, through her efforts and not mine, we began talking. I'm grateful for those few months. How she lit up my life again. A beautiful woman of God with so much love, she will be missed.
She read this silly blog, every post, and told me privately how much she enjoyed it. She told me not to stop writing. Now who will read this stuff? I am grateful for others who have subscribed and read. Much of what I have written comes from my life and lessons that were learned, some long over due lessons.
As I lay in bed last night after I got the news of her passing, I questioned why? Why take someone with so much to live for and who has children and grandchildren that need her love and smiling face. Her friends need her encouragement and presence. Why not remove someone like me? I would not be missed. There are no children who need me, no grandchildren who want to visit me. It's just me and my dog. I wasn't angry at God, just doesn't make sense to me why he would take someone who means so much to so many and leave me. If I got sick, no one would know. It would not stress anyone out or put a hardship on a family's finances. It would go unnoticed. Wouldn't that be better? Didn't we already go through enough heartache, must their be more?
Before you all go off on me and tell me how much I would be missed, please understand that I am in no way angry at God for His decision. It is just how I am feeling. Please don't judge my thoughts. I would have gladly taken her place. In fact, foolishly I prayed that God would transfer her sickness into my body and let her live. Of course, like you God thought that was a stupid idea. He knows what He is doing even when we can't understand. Like Job said, "must we accept good from God and not bad?"
I went for a walk early this morning with Wagsley. The air was weird. It felt humid and cool like the fake humidity on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. If you've been there you will know what I'm talking about. I walked around the dog park talking to God. The sun was just starting to come up. The colors of the sunrise were vibrant orange, gold and purple. The contrasting dark clouds made me think of how I am in the dark clouds, but Jennifer is in the bright presence of God surrounded by His Glory!
I watched a sermon on TV yesterday. The pastor was speaking on the Glory of God and how Moses asked to see his Glory. I never really understood what he was asking until now. God said that no one can see his face and live. So he hid Moses in a cleft in the rock of Mount Sinai put his hand over the opening and then passed in front of him and when he moved his hand Moses saw the back of God. Then his face shown bright with the Glory of God. So bright that he had to wear a covering so that others could be around him.
Jennifer is seeing today what Moses saw thousands of years ago. When we read in Revelation that there will be no sun because Jesus will light up the world, it is this immense glory that will forever light the way. When I talked to God about my heartache, I know he was listening because he gave me an image of Jennifer smiling her huge smile and standing guard over her children with a flaming sword. We live in a wicked world and Jennifer is a warrior princess daughter of the most high creator of the universe. She is dressed in purple and shines with the love of her savior. She is embracing my mother, father, grandparents and all those who went before. They are preparing for the resurrection of the saints. I bet there is a bustle about heaven as they watch events unfold here. It is almost time for Christ to return. Christians the world over can sense it.
We have this assurance and so I would like you to close your eyes and Imagine Jesus shining brighter than the sun, coming in the clouds with all the saints who have gone on before us. An army of believers who are resurrected in everlasting perfect bodies because of God's great love for us and Jesus sacrifice.
Praise First - Cry Later.
Praise God for his compassion and mercy that said to my sister "You will not suffer months of illness. I need you here by my side. We've got a party to plan and I need a purveyor of purple!"
The heartache I feel for the loss of my dear little sister was replaced this morning with excitement and hope that we will be sisters forever dancing in fields of sunflowers and lavender.
Praise God! Praise God! Praise God!
John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Romans 6:4 "We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life."
Revelation 21:23 "The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp."