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  • Writer's pictureA Friend of Jesus


The Cry of an Affection Starved Child

Last Sunday was Father's Day. I was thinking about my dad on that day and how much I missed his silliness. I was remembering all of the funny things he did and how much he loved to make us all laugh. My sister posted a photo of him at the beach in a bright red Hawaiian flowered swimsuit from about 1959 or 1960. My other sister mentioned how much she loved his piggy back rides. I remember those, too. It's been several years since I sat with him as he passed on to eternity. It was just a couple of weeks after his last Father's Day with us. I remember his labored breathing as his lungs continued to fail. The look of peace on his face as my mother's piano music played on a CD nearby, told me that he was ready and it would not be too long.

You never forget those things, not just his final moments, but all the times you had together. I remember how he always fell asleep during church service and his Bible would fall to the floor or he would wake up just in time to catch it and only the papers would fall out. He always said, "I wasn't sleeping. I was just resting my eyes." His faithfulness to God by seeing to the Christian raising of his 7 children is something I admire. I am truly grateful for this. He wasn't perfect and there were contradictions, but he was daddy. With all of his quirks and the odd way he would sing part of a song in bass and another part as a tenor still rings in my ears on some familiar hymns. I even catch myself doing it on songs out of my range, and it makes me smile.

Today I took a drive at lunch. The office is always so cold and it was over 100 degrees outside. For me, that is perfect. There was no humidity, just hot heat. I rolled the windows down and took a 20 minute round trip listening to my local Christian radio station. As always, a song came on the radio that I needed to hear. Work has been a struggle lately. Supply chain issues have everyone in my industry scrambling to find stock. If we got t-shirts from a yard sale, there would be a brawl to make sure we got all that we needed. Customers get upset when you tell them that you can't get their order to them before camp starts.

Then on Wednesday evening just before I left work, I wrote an email to my co-worker about a piece of art a customer had sent. It was not printable. Or as we like to say in our office CRAP - Can't Reproduce At Press. It is a simple acronym that I was taught a few years ago. The image itself wasn't bad. It would print fine for posters or flyers, and would look good on a website. The problem is, screen printing is a whole other animal. Well, needless to say my email was accidentally sent to the person who submitted the art. I was mortified when I realized it. I called immediately to apologize and try to explain what the acronym stood for. She sent me an email threatening to pull their account and get me fired. I was shaken.

I went home and did some serious praying and crying and a little bit of worrying. I took three walks with Wagsley to try to clear my head and figure out how to make it all better. My boss was scheduled to be out of town most of the day yesterday so I knew I would have a few hours before the ax would fall. After a sleepless night I trudged into work. I cleaned out my desk in advance I said a long silent prayer to God and just let it go into His capable hands. My plan was to tell the boss what happened and wait to be fired.

I began my work as usual. Hours went by and no one from the company called. I was busy so my mind wasn't dwelling on the mess I had accidentally created. Then about 3 o'clock my phone rang. The gentleman on the other end was very sweet and said, "I've been tasked to see if we have a problem that would make us move our business. Would you like to explain why you wrote what you did?"

After I got done telling him that the email was meant for my co-worker and we often discussed problematic artwork to see what the best course of action was, I then explained what CRAP meant. He started to laugh! He said, "You had a couple of women over here pretty upset." I told him that I did call to apologize, but no one would answer. I said the whole thing made me sick to my stomach. He said, "I've had this happen to me, so I totally understand. You weren't saying that the artwork was crap as we know the word, but that it means it can't be screen printed." He understood and said, there would be no further issues from his team. He would explain it to them and tell them to stop reading other people's email! I laughed.

I felt such relief. God sent the perfect person to find out the truth. He was understanding and had a gentle spirit. If I had tried to fix it myself, I probably would have botched it up and said something from a place of fear. God let me work hard for six hours and forget about the incident. It was in His time that Terrance called. God fixed another of my mistakes, just like a loving father would do. I haven't stopped saying thank you for the last 24 hours!

Now back to the song on the radio. When the song came on, I said out loud as I was driving, "God, I can't wait to hug you! I really need a hug. I want to lay in your lap like a baby and hear you whisper I love you my beautiful silly girl. Go to sleep. Daddy's got you." Then I felt this feeling of joy, calm and warmth from within. It was a "Spirit hug" of sorts. It was the thing the Holy Spirit does that communicates with my spirit that changes my heart from fear to faith, from sadness to joy, from loneliness to acceptance.

Imagine Jesus hugging you when you arrive in Heaven. Imagine that hug filling you the same way that the Spirit of God fills us at just the right time. I Imagine Jesus like this often, more now since my sister has passed away. I know Jennifer loves to hug. She once hugged someone so tight that it broke his ribs! Hugs are something that I miss. It was so good to see family in January. I got a lifetime of hugs during those three days. I will someday hug Jennifer, Mom, Dad, my grandparents, my friends and all of my saved family. But the best hug will be from Jesus. Just imagine it!

I've posted the song that was playing. I love this song. Sometimes you just need to "Be Held". I hope you can close your eyes and Imagine the God of the Universe holding you like a baby. He's got you safe in his arms for eternity. There is nothing the Father wouldn't do for you. I think He has proved that much already.

2 Thessalonians 3:3 "But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one."

Psalm 46:10 "He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth.”

Genesis 16:13 "She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

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